9/11 - 5 years later

9/11 was awful. What I thought of was that my entire family lived, at the time, either in NYC or about 1 hr. from there and I was 2,000 mls. away from them I felt helpless in so many ways. My parents were close enough that my father liked to go down to the beach on a clear day to see the towers. On 9/11 he watched them on fire. I first called my parents and then Brian. My brother works in NY and thank The Lord, happened to call in sick that day. He was, if I remember correctly, due to go to a meeting in or around the WTC. Writing this now is actually making my heart race at the thought of all the families that had brothers, or relatives that weren't sick that day. I remember my grandmother and the fear in her voice describing the scence to me from her balcony terrace after it took me a very long time to get through to her.

But, it's not really about my family, who all survived. I remember hearing about my other brother's long time friend, Talbot, and how he was in one of the buildings and helped others to get out. He too made it out. But Mark Motroni didn't (Mark Motroni, Wall of Americans). He is the brother of one of our family's oldest friends. So, every year I call and leave Hector and his family a message and tell them that we're thinking of them and that we love them. It's something that tears me up everytime I see them.

Unfortunately I now have a HUGE, almost debilitating, fear of taking the train into or anywhere in NYC. And, my brother does this everyday. I'm not sure how. I just can't seem to do it. But hopefully some day I will. Or else they've won, right? Isn't that how it goes? Where's my faith?